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Scars: T’s story

 

Life can be hard, and we know that during high school years, finding ways to cope with pain, fractured relationships and emotional challenges can feel overwhelming. We believe that every human being is designed to thrive, but at times it can feel as though life is about to crush you. Recently, we asked a young woman what she would want to tell her peers. In brave, honest ways, she shares the struggles she experienced, her attempt to cope and her personal story of growth and overcoming! Read T’s story and leave us a comment. What resonates with you?

girl sitting on the edge of an overlook

With just one glance, anyone can see the barely fading scars crisscrossing all over my forearms.

There’s small, white thin scars from when I first started cutting, and big pink, thick scars from deep times of depression from past hurt. In this crazy world of hurt, physical pain is way easier to deal with than emotional pain. Every time I put the knife or razor blade to my arm it was like all my emotional pain was bleeding out of me.

I’m not exactly sure when I started, but it became an addiction. An addiction I know a lot of other individuals struggle with all around me.

I’ve lived a lot of life in my 18 years on earth here. People have left a lot of scars on my heart and in return a lot of scars on my body. I’ve been through an eating disorder, multiple heart breaks, harassment, and much more. Often I try to cover up my arms, wearing long sleeves and sweatshirts. But you know what? Sometimes I like to leave my scars showing. I think it shows my strength of what I have been through. Am I proud of cutting? Of course not; that was definitely a very low point in my life, a period where I was not happy to be alive. I’m proud of my scars, not the actions of the past. 

I lost my faith for a while as I wandered in my dark world of depression, and I hated God for putting this all on me. What had I done to deserve all of this? I used to hate it when others tried to force religion on me. You have to find God on your own, maybe with a little guidance; but if you pray and ask for strength to continue on, I know He will answer your prayers and be there every step of the way. Everyone has different ways of expressing their faith, too. Others may go to church or reach out to the needy. I express my faith in the form of tattoos–which some people don’t approve of–but I love it when people ask me about them, because I can tell them these verses mean a lot to me and help me live a more positive life. I have Proverbs 31:25 down my back, and roses with 1 Corinthians 16:14 on my shoulder. I’ve experienced for myself that it’s amazing when someone in a dark place calls out to God, and he answers their prayers and gives them strength to overcome their challenges. He’s there. Don’t be afraid to ask for guidance. I’m so glad I did because without my faith, I don’t think I would have made it to the healthier place where I am today. I know God gave me this life because I am strong enough to live it. He gave each and every one of us our unique lives because we are all strong enough to overcome any challenges in our way of becoming who He intended us to be.

Know you are not alone.

When you’re feeling afraid, be brave and reach out. There’s been many times where I’ve had my mom or best friend sleep with me in order to prevent me from harming myself. I’m glad they were there when I asked. I am loved, and so are you. WE ARE WORTH IT. I take pride in how far I’ve come and the strength I’ve earned with it. You should too: we all deserve this life we’ve been blessed with.”

Have you ever felt completely alone? Or like you were being used and abused in your relationships? Maybe it’s not a pregnancy decision you’re facing, or maybe it is. Regardless of how you’re struggling, we are here to listen and help. Your story matters, and we want to hear it. You are worth it. Thanks, T, for being so vulnerable, and for taking steps to be sure you’re healthy. We need you to thrive as the person you’ve intended to be so that we can enjoy you and the gifts you add to your world.